drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize