He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
