Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
