Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
