Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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