hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
