pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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