Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Boobs speak an international language.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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