talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
