Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
