but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
