beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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