rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
