3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
