Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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