ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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