Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
