i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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