At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
