So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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