So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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