he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
