Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
