Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize