i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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