Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
