I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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