Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize