Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
