so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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