at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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