Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
