He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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