I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
