i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
