Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just googled if crying burns calories
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
