Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
