found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
