ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
