Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
