Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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