i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
