So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize