I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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