It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
