apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
that may or may not have been my penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
