i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize