today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
