we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
