a queef is a wish your heart makes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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