making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
