i can't believe i had my finger in that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
