Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He better not be in your backpack
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
