I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
