True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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