Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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