I want to make a zoo with you.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
