haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
