dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
