Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
