now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
