The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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